May 20, 2020

Finally, the quarantine is being lifted! Or so they say … Really it’s sorta lifted so some businesses can try to rebuild and maybe people can, within limits, come and go as they once did … it’s kinda lifted since now we have 4 more packages of toilet paper on the shelves but still no disinfecting sprays or wipes – oh, wait: the Walmart near me did say they were expected 2 boxes on their next shipment … they just failed to further explain the 2 boxes held a total of 12 cans for roughly 24,000 people … And it’s maybe lifted unless the virus begins to spread again, which would logically lead to reversal of the lifted quarantine and put us back in the old quarantine with the old rules — or would it be a new quarantine since it would be a new time and date and would we have new rules and guidelines because it’s the second time around??

This is a dizzying and unsettling time – in history and especially our lives. I feel like the deep dark tunnel I’ve been wandering around in these past weeks has expanded and exploded in my face. Those few little guides I had before aren’t so defined and clear. The slope is becoming slippery and the walls are sharp and cutting. The light I once thought I saw glowing in the darkness has faded. I’m stumbling along my way, hoping I don’t fall down and get hurt, or worse: become totally lost in the dark!

I’m more confused that before — the rough but clear guidelines have become blurred. I might even be more concerned and a little more scared without them. What can I do to find my way when the instructions aren’t clear enough for someone who’s OCD tendencies kick into overdrive? How do I find peace and calm in a world filled with COVID-chaos?

My grandmother used to say if we ever got lost and didn’t know which way to go, we were to sit down and wait for help to come to us. It didn’t occur to me at the time as a child just how valuable her lesson was. Many times in my life I have thanked God for the special blessing He gave me: growing up as a Protestant I read the Bible many times and learned a lot of scripture. Converting to Catholicism I have read many beautiful prayers written by many Saints and sinners. Living in the best of both worlds, I learned the greatest peace and calm fills my heart when I simply sit still and wait for help to find me.

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.

Adaption of the Prayer of St. Pio of Pietrelcina
Stay with me, Lord, for it is necessary to have You present so that I do not forget You.
You know how easily I abandon You.
Stay with me, Lord, because I am weak and I need Your strength,
that I may not fall so often.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life,
and without You, I am without fervor.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my light,
and without You, I am in darkness. Amen

Written by Teri Wright

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